Feasting

A man went out in search of food. While he was searching, he came across mounds and mounds of food. He starts feasting on his recent find and it was the most delicious thing he has ever tasted. In his excitement he goes back to his friends and he tells them where he found all this food and invites them to join him. They all join him and start feasting. It is one of the greatest feasts they have ever had and everyone was happy. The food was great, they were having fun and it was awesome. Occasionally, people would find the place they are celebrating and asked if they could join them. They were welcomed and they continued feasting together and enjoyed each others company. Everything was perfect.

However, as time went on and as they continued feasting, they started becoming fat. New people who found the food saw all the fat people and were disgusted. They looked at the food and automatically thought that it was bad because they saw only the fat people eating it. After that, no one else came to feast. The ones who were feasting became fatter and fatter.

A friend of mine shared this parable with me during my fundraising for my internship. I was still deciding if I should do vocational ministry at this time.

I was very convicted of this parable. It reminds me of some of the communities that we as Christians have produced and generated. The communities we generate are GOOD! Jesus is GOOD!! He is worth feasting on constantly! When we find Jesus, we celebrate and we want others to experience who Jesus is so that they too can feast with us!! However, if we are doing nothing but feasting and not inviting others to come in, we become fat. The once joyful celebration we are doing has now actually worked against us. People outside look at us "fat" Christians and automatically don't want to even taste a bit of what Jesus has to offer. They go away in disgust and start telling their own friends to stay away from us beacuse we are "fat".

I'm sure we have all been part of communities that are "fat". I'm not saying that our current communities are fat themselves but the thing is... every single community can end up being "fat". We can get so self absorbed within ourselves that we forget to invite others into our communities.

So what can we do now? There are three possibile scenarios...

1. We can keep on feasting and keep on getting fatter and fatter.

2. We can keep on feasting and BRING a bit of food out to others.

3. We can keep on feasting and GO OUT and TELL others where to feast and INVITE them to feast with us.

Feasting is what fuels us. We need to feast, there is no question about it. However, if that becomes the only thing that we do, we become fat. It is this feasting that enables us to go and tell others where to feast and also to invite them to feast with us.

Let us continue to share the goodness of Jesus, let us continue to share the goodness of the Kingdom of God, let us continue to share the love of Jesus Christ, by going out and giving them a taste of what this looks like. Followed by telling them where to find this and eventually invite them to join us in feasting.

Prayer Labyrinth

As I walked down the very steep and dangerous path, I looked down to see a giant circle in the ground. Within this giant circle there was a smaller circle in the middle and a series of paths. As I looked closer to it, I saw that it was one giant path, winding and twisting within the giant circle leading to the smaller one. This was the prayer labyrinth.

I finally make it down and found myself at the entrance of the labyrinth. I can clearly see the middle and my engineering mind starts to kick in. I start thinking, "Why don't I just walk right to the center? I'll save so much time and it's that much more efficient." However, I wanted to walk down this path to see where it will take me and how it will speak to me. So I resisted the urge to just skip right to the middle, even though it was the "logical" thing to do.

I took my first steps into this prayer labyrinth walking very slowly making sure that I don't miss any turns. I remember walking through the winding paths, sometimes they would lead me so close to the inner circle that I could even touch it but next thing I know, the path takes me away from the inner circle leaving me the further away from when I first started. I remember pausing during the times I was furthest away thinking to myself, "Why am I even doing this? Why don't I just skip to the middle?" I felt frustrated and impatient because every time I got close to the circle, I would be taken away again. However, I still stuck with it and waited patiently.

After what seemed like an eternity (30 min), I make the final turn into the center of the circle. I remember as soon as I reached it and stood in the center, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace. It was so much more fulfilling going through that journey to reach the center. Knowing that I followed the path that God laid out for me.

This experience really reminded me of my tendencies to constantly rush into things. Many times I will see the goal and even sometimes the path to it but I will often try and skip parts of the path and go right to the center. I realize that the reward in the center is only worth it if I walk the path that God has laid out for me. Most of the reward is not the end goal in sight, but experience of the journey.

While I'm Waiting

While I'm Waiting

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

He Touched Me! He Really Touched Me!

How long has it been now? 1 month, 2 months, I've lost count. Each day seems like an eternity to me, no one walks near me, no one speaks to me and I haven't had a decent meal in months. I've been sleeping on the street and begging for food and money. All because of THIS...

I look at my hands, my arms, my body, my legs... there is something wrong with my skin but I don't know what. The priests say that I am "Unclean". I don't even know what that means. All I know is that it's something that people are afraid of and something that forces me to live this way. Even my so-called "friends" and family have ignored me. They won't even talk to me. Why does this have to happen to me? What have I done to deserve this?!

I've sat at this corner for such a long time. I stare into the street hoping people will even recognize me. However, I have yet to see a single person acknowledge my existence. Occasionally someone will walk by and drop some money for me, even then though, it is difficult for me to even get by. Every 7 days for as long as I could remember, I have made trips to the priest to see if they can deem me "Clean" again as they explained it. However, no such thing. This problem with my skin is still here and it won't go away. It's even getting to the point where the priest will not see me anymore. How will I ever be accepted again when the only one that can restore me has given up on me...

As the days go by, I have seen many Rabbi's pass through. I think maybe, just maybe, they can be the ones who can make me clean. Whenever I see one, I run up and I go on my knees and beg, "If you are willing, you can make me clean." The response that I get though are not the best. Everyone backs off and the Rabbi looks at me with disgust and doesn't say a word. He runs away from me or in some cases, ignore me. Not even these holy men will accept me.

Today was like any other day. The sun was out with a light enough breeze so that it's not too hot. I sit at my corner and stare off into the street asking if people can give me money. The usually response, well... there is no response. They all ignore me. I then look over to the left of me and see this man. He was walking casually with a few people following behind him. I believe this man must be a Rabbi, but where are all his followers? He's only got a few. Never-the-less though, I look at him and there is something different about him. I think, maybe this man can make me clean. As I continue to look at him, and as he gets closer, I can feel my heart beating faster and faster and the excitement well up inside of me, I can't help but feel that this could be my only chance. Before I know it, I'm on my feet running towards this Rabbi. I run as fast as I can and collapse before his feet being careful not to touch him. This man stops, along with everyone else. It's all quiet with all eyes looking at this Rabbi. I look at him and he looks back at me... With tears in my eyes, I beg him, "If you are willing, you can make me clean." The man looks back at me and stares straight in my eyes. Are those tears in his eyes?

With everything quiet, he then lifts his hand. It was as if time itself slowed down. He starts extending his hand towards me. I start to think, what is he doing? Is he really going to touch me? As his hand moves closer and closer I feel as if my heart is beating out of my chest. For what seemed like an eternity, his hand finally comes close to my shoulder, he pauses, then kneels down and places his hand on my shoulder. I couldn't believe what was happening. This man actually touched me! Wouldn't that make him unclean too? With his eyes glued to mine, he began to speak with his hand still placed on my shoulder, "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!"

As soon as he said those words, I felt something over-take my body. It was as if a great power has passed through it. What in the world is happening to me? The feelings of fear and excitement are overtaking me as I look around wondering what is happening. I look at my arms and hands, no marks... I start feeling the rest of my body for any sores... nothing... I place my hands on my face... smooth, no marks. This skin disease is gone!!

I look at this man in amazement. This man has just healed me!! I then hear some of his followers talking amongst themselves and I was able to catch his name, "Jesus." So that's his name. Jesus then then says to me, "See that you don't tell this to anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them." I hear this was wondering what in the world was he talking about? But I just nodded.

I got up and ran as fast as I could, crying out, "Jesus has healed me!! LOOK! I am clean now!!" Telling everyone that I saw. People recognized me and asked me how this happened and I told them everything about this man Jesus who healed me. People are talking to me and accepting me again.

I was so excited that I completely forgot what Jesus told me to do. What was it that he told me to do again?

The Christian Radar

Inspiration: Matthew 5:14-16

Recently, I have come to realize that everyone has some sort of built-in radar. Have you ever had a situation where your in a crowd of people and you happen to just start talking to someone and find out that the both of you grew up in the same town or city? Have you just stood there with hundreds of people talking and when someone says something that completely catches your attention and everything else becomes silent and you immediately find that person?

I'm going to use my "radar" as an example. It has been about a year since I last blogged but as some of you may know, I have been constantly moving for the last 6 years. I am now living in Burnaby, BC working at SFU with IVCF. I have just come to the realization of my Saskatchewan Radar. Actually, those in Saskatchewan, they can probably say that we all have that Radar. We always seem to find each other in the most unlikely places. Two people that I do Kung Fu with are from Saskatchewan and these were some of the first people I talked to during Kung Fu. It wasn't until almost a month into Kung Fu where I found out that these 2 people were from Regina! There is something about people from Saskatchewan (most likely the green) and we just naturally go to each other. Also, for those who aren't from Saskatchewan, you can almost tell if a person is from Saskatchewan. In a way, you have picked us up on your own radar. It's probably because we're CRAZY!!! =D

Keeping this in mind, I sometimes wonder about the Christian Radar. Are Christians able to pick each other up on their radar? Are Christians showing up in other people's radars? Myself being a Christian all my life, am I shining a light that would draw people like I do with my fellow Saskatchewanians?

If you think stealth wise, you want to "fly under the radar" so that you won't be detected. That way you can accomplish your mission without any conflict. However, if you ask Jesus, He says the complete opposite. He's saying that we all have a light and that we need to let it shine. We NEED to be detected. If you ask me, on average, we are doing an amazing job "flying under the radar." The Christian light we project is pretty small. In some cases, it's so small that not even the Christian radar can pick it up! Now, I'm not saying all Christians are like this. There are LOTS of examples of Christians being a light and sending such a large signal that any radar can pick it up. I have just found in general that most of us Christians aren't shining the light that God gives us so freely. We hide it under the lamp and hide it from any other radar out of fear that we may be labeled as a "Christian."

Now even as I write this, I realize that Christians are being picked up on the other radars. However, usually we only hear about the bad things that happen. Peoples radars are so in tuned to the negative things that Christians do and that's what they always pick up on, even other Christians. So I guess the question now is, "How do we as Christians shine the light of God that is SO GOOD that other peoples radars can pick it up?"

Well, I don't think there is a single solution that will solve this problem. Probably more guidelines and it's guidelines that we've all probably heard before too.

1. Know what Good actually is - We need to be immersed in the Word of God to actually know what this good light actually is.

2. Prayer - No matter how hard we try, we can't display this light without the Holy Spirit. Our lives to be lead by Jesus through scripture and prayer.

3. Community - Yes it can only take one person to make a difference, but being together as a community what Jesus wants us to be in. Jesus always traveled with a community and that community shone an amazing light. Jesus sent his disciples out 2 by 2 and that was shining a light everywhere.

4. Personal Relationship with Jesus Christ - This seems like a Sunday School answer but how many of us actually know what this means? If we truly experienced the GOODNESS of God's light, will we REALLY keep it to ourselves? This is the light that brings physical, emotional, and spiritual healing. This is the light that penetrates even the darkest of nights and depths of our hearts. This is the light that restores our souls and gives us peace.

5. Not just staying within our own Christian Bubble - We as Christians NEED to get out of our safe Christian bubbles and start being involved with other bubbles. The lighted places don't need more light, it is the dark places that need the light. This being said, the Christian community is a place that we as Christians go to get fed ourselves. So don't forget the community.

These are all things that have been challenging me and I just wanted to share it with you. If you have any thoughts or comments on this, I would love to hear them =).

God Bless!

My Light vs. God's Light

Inspiration: Isaiah 50:10, 11

I've been walking through this darkness for quite some time now. Being lead by someone that I don't really know all that well but he seems to know where he's going. What frustrates me though is that we're going so slow. I'm kinda getting tired of it actually. Why is this person moving so slow? Why isn't he moving faster if he knows where he's going?

As I continue walking, I remember that I have been carrying a torch all this time. Why haven't I been using it? I pull it out and light it. The light illuminates a larger area. I can see in front of me now. In fact, I can see so much more now! This is great! I can get to where I am going so much faster. The person who was leading me stops and says, "You should put out your torch." I replied, "Pft, you don't know what your talking about. Look at all I can see! I'm going my own way now. Your way doesn't make any sense." The man looked at me slightly disappointed but said, "Alright, go ahead."

So I venture ahead with my in hand and my path illuminated. I've been walking for about an hour now and things are going great! I think to myself, "This is so easy, I don't know why I didn't do this earlier." As I continue walking, I see something ahead of me. Is that a lake? I come up to it and it was indeed a lake. I raise my torch to see if there is a way around. No such luck, this lake seems to go for quite awhile. So I make a decision and go one way. I continue walking and I eventually find a way around it. Again, I say to myself, "No problem at all. This is easy as long as I have my own torch." Shortly after I said that though, I run into another road block. This time it was a mountain. Well, I guess the only way for me is to climb this. I wonder how big this is? So I begin to climb...

A day has passed since I started the mountain and I still haven't reached the top yet. My torch is still going but I can't seem to see any further than the light from the torch. I'm starting to get pretty hungry and thirsty because I haven't seen water or food during this trek.

It is now nightfall of day 2 and I am feeling so weak from a lack of food and water. I am starving now. I get to the point where I can't go ahead anymore... I collapse from exhaustion. Here I am, lying down in torment, dying from starvation, and no one knows where I am. Is this the end of me?

I begin to think. How in the world did this happen to me when I could clearly see so far with my torch? Then I thought back to when the man was leading me without my torch. I realized that I was never hungry and I never got lost. In fact, I was always satisfied. Even though we were going slow, the path that was taken was never more than I could handle. Did my own torch blind me from the right path?

I think about it some more and I soon realized that the man who lead me knew exactly where I needed to go and wanted to take me there safely and on his time. As soon as I lit the torch, I blinded myself and ventured away from his guidance. Clearly this man was my true light and not this torch I have been carrying. Now here I am, dying, and not able to take care of myself.

There's nothing more I can do now. The torch I have lit has now burnt out and I am now laying in darkness. So with the last ounce of my strength, I cry out for help. I can't do this on my own anymore. After I cried out for help, there was silence. My cry echoed in the darkness...

After the echo faded, I heard the sound of leaves crackle. I spoke with a parched voice, "Who's there?" A voice in the darkness replies, "Hey Justin, it's me, remember?" I lie there speechless. I recognize this voice. It was the voice of the man who was leading me! This man I left and completely disrespected has heard my cry for help and has come to save me. The man walks up to me, and lifts up my head and gives me something to drink. For some weird reason, that one drink has completely rejuvenated me. I get up and the man looks at me and says, "Will you let me lead the way now?" I reply to him, "Yes. I don't know where I am going. You lead the way." I throw my burnt out torch aside and begin to follow the man. The darkness is here but I feel safe and at peace knowing that this man is guiding me in the right direction.

Fear?

Matthew 14:22-33

I was reading this passage about a month ago and something stuck with me. I couldn't bring myself to reading past this and I felt that God did that for a reason. I can't say I really understand the full extent of this passage but here is what I think it means and how it applies in life.

"²²Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. ²³After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray."

After Jesus fed the 5000, he "immediately" made the disciples get into the boat and go ahead of him while he dismissed the crowd. Why do you think he did this? I think there are two reasons. One, he wanted to have genuine time to pray to his Father and two, he wanted to teach the disciples something which will come later.

The part that sticks out for me in this section is where he went "by himself to pray". I know there are times during my prayer times where I say a quick prayer for meals, and even during my devotion time, but is that really genuine time with God? I look at my life right now, and I see all the time that I have and yet, I am wasting it on stupid pointless things. I don't even take 30 minutes out of my day to spend time with God in prayer and meditation! Where in this passage, we see that Jesus has probably spent a long time praying (into the fourth watch of the night). I think to myself, why can't I just take time alone to spend with God?

"When evening came, he was there alone, ²⁴but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

After Jesus spent some time in prayer he saw that the disciples were struggling in the wind/storm. Now, this I see the wind/storm as our own lives. Where we decide to do things on our own and venture into the storm ourselves. Only to find that the storm is too strong for us and we constantly struggle.

²⁵During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. ²⁶When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear."

At this point in time, we are struggling in the winds of our lives and now Jesus is walking out to us. We actually see him but we don't know who he is (or if it is him). So our natural reaction is fear. When we start seeing Jesus in the storms of our lives, I think we are naturally scared of him because we have become "comfortable" in these storms and are not use to seeing Jesus or being in his presence. We mistake him as something bad instead of good.

²⁷But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

Now this is when Jesus will start talking to us and revealing that it is actually him who is walking out to us. "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." We often will feel God's presence and sometimes hear God saying to us, "Don't worry about it, I'll take care of you." or "I will take you out of this storm you have gotten yourself into." Now this storm can be tough times in your life with family, friends, people, relationship, etc.

²⁸"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

After we hear God's call, we are very quick to challenge and "test" him a little bit to see if it is actually God calling us to do something. I don't think it's wrong to "test" if it is God. In fact, if we listened to every voice that tells us to do something, that could be dangerous and it could be telling us to do something against God's Will. We need to constantly test what people say with scripture and prayer. This includes what I am writing right now.

²⁹"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.

³⁰But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Now I wonder... when we test God and He responds to us. There are times when we know it's God and we decide to take the first few steps out of the boat. We keep our eyes on Jesus and we continue to walk to him. The storms in our lives don't matter anymore and we are now walking on the water in the storm. However, the storms in our lives are extremely strong we start noticing the winds and tough times in our lives and lose sight of Jesus. We lose focus on Jesus and start worrying about the storms again. Next thing we know, we're in the middle of the lake in a storm and we're sinking.

I think of this next part as a place where it will either make us or break us with our trust in God. Some of us will swim back to the boat and try and fight the storm ourselves but what did Peter do in this situation? Even though he lost sight of Jesus for a second, he still cried out to Jesus to help him. His focus went right back to Jesus when he started sinking. There are times in our lives when we are sinking and are sinking FAST. Nothing is going right for us and it seems like the whole world is against us. It is during that time that we REALLY need to look to Jesus. That being said, we should always be looking to Jesus =).

³¹Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

When we cry out to Jesus, he will ALWAYS be there to catch us. It is then he will ask us and remind us of how little faith we have. Why do we doubt? Why don't we see that if we look to Jesus, we can "walk on water"?

³²And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. ³³Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

It is only when we decide to let Jesus climb into our hearts (boat). Notice that as soon as Jesus climbed into the boat, the wind/storm died down. If we truly let Jesus into our hearts, these winds and storms will no longer mean anything to us. They will be dead.

This passage applies to me in my life because the storms are definitely plentiful in my life. With my decision to go into ministry with IVCF, I have the storm of my family (and some friends) bearing down on me telling me that this isn't such a good idea and that they will not support me in this ministry, fundraising for this internship, the worries of the future and life, how will I take care of a family, etc. These are all storms in my life.

Now, I have heard God call me saying to me, "Justin, you don't need to support yourself or your family. I will take care of all your funds and the funds for your family. The job that you are doing now, you are to NOT support yourself. This is an abundance I have given you and you are to use this to bless others with." I've decided to say "Yes" to this and to keep my eyes on Jesus, but not after sinking a few times (and still quite often do). I have now let Jesus back into my boat (heart) and let him direct me. You know what the outcome of this is? I am now 70% supported for my internship in only a month! My relationship with my family has gotten 100 times better. I have formed new friendships and relationships and strengthened old ones. God has literally made money come out of nowhere and people come out of nowhere to partner with me in this ministry. However during the storms, the worries of the future, relationships, and ministry... That is when fear starts to settle into my heart. I start to focus on the storms and then begin to sink. This will happen... I'm definitely not perfect. But I see the difference between keeping my focus on God and the fear in the storm. I have to say, keeping my focus on God trumps ALL the storms in my life.

I want to encourage you to continue on looking to Jesus. Especially when you take those steps out of the boat. Keep looking to him. When you sink, don't swim back, turn your eyes on Jesus and call for him. Desire him with all your heart and look to him as your only hope. He will come. Invite him back into your hearts and he will calm the storms. Be patient with this and have faith.

Don't lose faith.