Authority...

Hebrews 13:17

Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.

What does it mean to "submit to their authority?" Lately, I have had so much trouble grasping this concept. I've read these verses before but I thought nothing of it. A couple of weeks back, a friend of mine challenged me, he said,

"Whatever ministry or church God brings you to, put your life into it. Also, be sure to respect and follow the authority figures."

"... respect and follow the authority figures..." why did that bother me so much? Later that day I sat down and meditated on what my friend said. Soon enough, it hit me. I started looking back at all the authority figures in my life: parents, coaches, teachers, elders, pastors. I realized... all these people, these authority figures, I've treated or am treating them very poorly right now. All my life, I have never really respected authority.

I start thinking about why... why am I like this? I look back as far as I can remember and it brings me to my Grade 6 year. Here I am, sitting in my classroom, kids all around me, laughing and making fun of me, screaming out "Chicken head! Chicken head!" My head was twitching a lot and I could not understand why I was like this. I came to the conclusion that there was something wrong with me. This continued throughout my elementary school years. It wasn't until my first year of highschool when my found out from my parents that I had Tourette's. There wasn't anything wrong with me and it wasn't something I could really control. That was the beginning of where I lost my trust in authority figures... Why did my parents and teachers knowing that I had Tourette's just sit back and watch me suffer emotionally? Couldn't they have done something? As the years went by, I only learned to rely on myself and my friends, those who are equal to me. I didn't trust or believe that older (wiser) people could know my best interests and I continued living my life like that... even to this day.

The more I think about it... the more God convicts me of this. I start flipping through my bible looking for any scripture relating to submitting to your authority. 1 Timothy 5:1*, 1 Peter 5:5**, Romans 13:1,2***, Deuteronomy 5:16****... all of these are passages relating to submitting to authority.

It wasn't until I hit 2 Peter 2:10 that really struck me,

"This is especially true of those who follow the corrupt desire of the sinful nature and despise authority." (For those who aren't familiar with the content before this verse, it's talking about the false teachers and their destruction)

I start to think about myself and where I'm at... am I following the path of destruction by not respecting authority? Are my desires corrupt?

Throughout these last couple of years, I have been leading IVCF. The last 8 years, I have been coaching Judo and co-leading my club. I am use to being a leader. However, the responsibilities in these positions and the titles of it is enough to make me proud. I've convinced myself in my mind that I am a "good leader". With this mindset, I seek out other leadership positions. I even went to asking my one of my Pastors if I could serve in a specific ministry. Well, I won't say his response but it wasn't an answer I wanted to hear. I was angry and I start thinking, "He knows nothing!"

Looking back at that now, I realize (even more now) that I am a proud person. I have a very hard heart. You could probably compare me to the Pharaisees. Who am I to say that I am ready to serve? Even the fact that I'm thinking I'm good enough shows that I am to proud and that I should not be leading these ministries. It was a good thing my Pastor did not accept my offer.

So what am I going to do about this? I have no idea. I've been trying to respect and listen to authority figures. It's very difficult for me. All I know is that I need a huge attitude adjustment. Slowly but surely, God is constantly healing the wounds in my heart from the past and is slowly taking away the hardness in my heart. It's a very long and painful process but I know it will be worth it in the end.

I guess another question can be... Are my experiences in control of my life or is God in control of my life?

For those who are still reading this part of my testimony, I hope you will remember to "submit to authority" and that "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble." I can't tell you what it will be like in the longrun but I can tell you that this is what God commands us to do.

God Bless.

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*1 Timothy 5:1

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father.

**1 Peter 5:5

Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility towards one another because,

"God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

***Romans 13:1,2

Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

****Deuteronomy 5:16

Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the LORD your God is giving you.