Do you still not understand?

Mark 8:17-21

Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don't you remember? When I broke the five loaves for the five thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?"
"Twelve," they replied.
"And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?
"They answered, "Seven."
He said to them, "Do you still not understand?"

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This piece of scripture relates to the disciples worrying about not having enough bread. Jesus noticed this and asked them how many basketfuls were there when he fed the 5000 and 4000 with only 5 and 7 loaves respectively. The disciples reply back saying 12 and 7 basketfuls respectively. What do you think was going through the minds of these disciples? To us it would seem so obvious that the feeding of the 5000 and 4000 is a miracle, but it seemed like the disciples couldn't put 2 and 2 together. They still did not understand. I'm sure we have all thought... "Man these disciples must be pretty dumb."

Now, after studying for this passage for the first time, I instantly thought those exact words. I thought how stupid these disciples were to NOT realize what was going on and trust that the LORD will provide. However, the more I thought about it... the more it seemed like the disciples weren't much different than the Pharaisees. Then it hit me, are we not like these disciples in our own daily lives?

You may ask, "What do you mean by that?" How many times have you said, "I'm not going to do this because I don't have enough money." Isn't that the same thing as the disciples saying, "It is because we have no bread." I think we all like to tell ourselves that we understand but do we truly understand? Are our hearts hard? To the point where we still constantly worry about "not having any bread?"

A friend of mine gave me this verse on a night where I was just crashing (it's been happening to me a lot lately). During that time, I was blaming a lot of things because of my past and just feeling really sorry for myself. Also, I have been complaining about not being able to get a job. This has been ongoing ever since summer now.

After I read this verse, the first thing that my friend mentioned was, "Hasn't God provided for you in every single way in the past? Why do you doubt Him now?" These words really stuck with me. Here I am complaining about all the "bad" things happening to me and thinking that there's nothing that can be done.

I've gotten to the point now where I am just sick and tired of complaining and feeling sorry for myself. It's not doing myself any good and it's not doing the people around me any good either. I look back and I do see all of the times where God has "feed the 5000" or "feed the 4000" in my life. I see that God has provided me in every tough situation; For every co-op job, in fact... EVERY job that I have ever gotten was provided by God. Every need, God was there. Do I really understand now? Why should I doubt Him now?

So in closing, I want to leave you all with this...

"Do you still not understand?"